Captain Kid

The talk about children and increasing the world's population has made me somewhat clucky...

::Thud::

::Nick? Nicky? Wake-up dear. Asta, lick Nicky's face until he revives, good boy::

...Anyway, as I was saying: Clucky.

So, where to go for good sound child-rearing advice?

Ah, I know, the first indispensible source - Pirate Parenting!

Where else could you pick up valuable tips like:

• Ten benefits of raising a pirate

• At what age your child should be able to remove a bottle cap by taking out his glass eye and using his eye socket as an opener

• Which offense requires administering The Flying Dutchman Wedgie

• How to prevent sogging the quartermaster

• The best place to maroon your disobedient child

• How to remove chewing gum or a giant octopus from your child’s hair

• The difference between plundering and pillaging

• How to convert your minivan into a pirate schooner

• When to smack your teenager in the side of the head with an oar

That last one is bound to come in handy.

In counting down four and a bit months to International Talk Like a Pirate Day, here's a drink to warm those cockles (whatever they are)

Chocolate Pirate
1 1/2 oz Bacardi
1 oz Kahlua
1 oz milk
2 scoops chocolate ice cream
Blend ingredients in a blender until smooth. Serve in a chilled wine goblet.

-- Nora