Praiseworthy Values

Could it be that we conservatives have the wrong end of the stick when it comes to muslims? That Islam is really a peace loving religion and there is something lacking in our own character that should cause us to ask 'why?' whenever they blow people to smithereens.

It appears Hugh MacKay of the Melbourne Age newspaper thinks so.

No doubt the core values of many terrorists would seem familiar and even praiseworthy if differently expressed, but they have been perverted and distorted by hatred. We have become the enemy.

Our greatest challenge is to understand why.

Aptly, Tim Blair has called Hugh and his ilk 'why-ners':

Let's take a look at the praiseworthy aims of these people. Through journalist Scott Atran's interview with Abu Bakir Bashir, the jailed spiritual leader of Jemaah Islamiyah, we learn:

Atran: What can the West, especially the US, do to make the world more peaceful?

Abu Bakar Bashir: They have to stop fighting Islam. That's impossible because it is sunnatullah [destiny, a law of nature], as Allah has said in the Koran. If they want to have peace, they have to accept to be governed by Islam ... We'll keep fighting them and they'll lose. The batil [falsehood] will lose sooner or later. I sent a letter to Bush. I said that you'll lose and there is no point for you [to fight us]. This [concept] is found in the Koran.

Atran: How can the American regime and its policies change?

Bashir: We'll see. As long as there is no intention to fight us and Islam continues to grow there can be peace. This is the doctrine of Islam. Islam can't be ruled by others. Allah's law must stand above human law. There is no [example] of Islam and infidels, the right and the wrong, living together in peace.

So, it's simple you see. Islam has a marketing problem, that's all.

Well Nicky and I are in advertising so we'll help these poor fellows out. I imagine the meeting would go something like this:

Mr Islamofacist: "Well Nick, (I'll ignore Nora, she's a mere woman), our problem is this, we can't make anyone see the benefits of living in a worldwide Caliphate under Sharia law."

Nick: "Yes, you do have a communication problem. You are not selling your benefits well enough. Here try these suggestions:

Sick and tired of telling the truth and being honest? Stress no more, thanks to the time honoured principles of kitman and taqiyya you finally get to do whatever you want and say whatever you want to those damn infidels.

The wife spending too much money on clothes and shoes? Try our one-size burqa fits all. Start saving today!

Looking for the ultimate fitness program? Our pork-free diet combined with Stoning, our exclusive cardiovascular workout, will have you looking buff in no time.

Infidelity a problem? If it's your wife, get a good workout while you stone her. If it is you, don't forget our four wives for the price of one special.

Not being able to program the VCR getting you down? Fear not, join the worldwide Caliphate today and get rid of that annoying technology and relax knowing that there will never be another technological advance again."

Well, I think that calls for a drink. Yes, it's alcoholic - I did say we were in advertising...

Nymphomaniac (Nick liked the name)
1 oz. Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum
1/4 oz. Peach schnapps
1/4 oz. Malibu Rum

Shake over ice. Strain into a chilled cocktail, pony or shot glass

-- Nora